Esther 1:16 says, And Memucan answered before the king and the princes, Vashti the queen hath not done wrong to the king only, but also to all the princes, and to all the people that are in all the provinces of the king Ahasuerus. Memucan, one of the seven princes present before Ahasuerus answered him. Some say that he gave this advice because he didn’t like Vashti, but others say he did it out of concern for public decorum even though he admired her according to Matthew Henry. The reason doesn’t matter as much as the advice, which we are not told that he had any real qualification to give. We may get sincere advice from people today even for what they feel is for the good of the church or the nation as a whole and it may still be wrong. We need to ensure that the advice we follow as Christians comes from God.
Verse seventeen adds, For this deed of the queen shall come abroad unto all women, so that they shall despise their husbands in their eyes, when it shall be reported, Then king Ahasuerus commanded Vashti the queen to be brought in before him, but she came not. Memucan seemed to at least know what the situation was. People may be well aware of why we are having a problem, but that doesn’t mean that they will always give us the best advise if they are basing it on how our actions may affect others.
Verse eighteen continues, Likewise shall the ladies of Persia and Media say this day unto all the king's princes, which have heard of the deed of the queen. Thus shall there arise too much contempt and wrath. Part of Memucan’s advice was not based just on the relationship between Vashti and Ahasuerus but on how other women might be influenced by what she did. If she didn’t obey Ahasuerus, then why would other women obey their husbands. It wasn't so much a matter of whether she was right to do what she did but whether she would influence others. There are still people today who believe that women should obey men, especially their husbands, and in spiritual matters, the husband should be the ultimate authority under the leadership of the Holy Spirit, but that doesn't mean that women, even wives, should obey their husbands in everything he says for them to do. This is certainly true if their doing what they are told to do would put them in a situation that would not be honorable.
Verse nineteen states, If it please the king, let there go a royal commandment from him, and let it be written among the laws of the Persians and the Medes, that it be not altered, That Vashti come no more before king Ahasuerus; and let the king give her royal estate unto another that is better than she. Memucan advised Ahasuerus to divorce Vashti by a public decree that could not be changed. Since she had refused to come when he called for her, she was to no longer be in a position where she could disobey him, and it would set an example for the other women in the kingdom about the consequences of disobeying their husbands. Matthew Henry says we must assume that Vashti was given an opportunity to repent and come as Ahasuerus had called for her to do, but I personally don’t see anything to base that assumption on. It seems to me that Ahasuerus was more concerned with his own ego than he was with what was best for Vashti,
Verse twenty adds, And when the king's decree which he shall make shall be published throughout all his empire, (for it is great,) all the wives shall give to their husbands honour, both to great and small. As just discussed, Memucan seemed to be more concerned with how Vashti’s action might influence other women and the husband's authority over them than he was with what God might say about the situation. This is still often the concern of people today if men believe that a husband is not asserting his authority over his wife and that she is not obeying him in anything he demands.
Verse twenty-one continues, And the saying pleased the king and the princes; and the king did according to the word of Memucan: Since the saying pleased the king, which could have also influenced Memucan in giving the advice, he did as Memucan had advised. In effect, he actually gave up his authority to make a decision about the situation to someone else. When it comes to matters between a Christian husband and wife, they need to get together under the leadership of the Holy Spirit and make the decision based on what is best in the marriage and not on what the rest of the world may think or say.
Verse twenty-two concludes, For he sent letters into all the king's provinces, into every province according to the writing thereof, and to every people after their language, that every man should bear rule in his own house, and that it should be published according to the language of every people. Ahasuerus sent the decree of his divorcing Vashti to all the provinces and ensured that it was written in their language. He wanted everyone to know of his control of the situation and of Vashti herself. I believe that many men today base their actions in the family more on how other people may view them than on what is best for their wives.